did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
