i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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