I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Dick very happy bro
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
