I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
