i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize