ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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