I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
