is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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