Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
