When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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