Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
