just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
