who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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