dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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