jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
