Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
