Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
