The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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