youre lurking in front of me
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
