dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
