Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
