I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
