I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
