i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Randomize
