Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
