i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It's just like the Real World with babies
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I forgot wine drunk hurts
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
