Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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