the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
