I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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