how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
