Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
