so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize