I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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