If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Screwed.edu
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
where does the pee come out of this thing
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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