can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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