I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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