i think my mom watched the whole time
one might say we're banned from that church
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize