i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
