ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
