I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
