her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The beers last night were like the tears from god
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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