alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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