I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
