I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Alive.
So much puke
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
