made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
