I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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