plz talk dirty to me
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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