We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
