Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
