Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
my poor anus
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
