You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
