I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
