Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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