she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
