I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
