may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
