Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm passing your future prison.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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