I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
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