I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Are we still banned from the library?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
