my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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