This is not my ceiling
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
