so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
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he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
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